nah im not goin to college right off the bat, plans have changed
Once my sister told me
That everyone eventually finds their group, that she was a total weirdo at uni but she still found somebody to hang out with that is nothing like her and basically are kept together because of vibes . The tough part is just starting to speak with people and warming up to it patiently.
I have people that I really liked in high school but I was socially anxious and only found courage to just give them occassional messages
yeah
itās hard to make new friends rn because school size means that i already know ~everyone in my entire year
so that eliminates the obvious option and the other options for meeting irl people will end up with the relationships closing very quickly once im able to leave utah
so
i think itāll get better once i actually do the leave utah but its torturous in the meantime
Essentially just be yourself (generic advice I know), try focusing more on the conversation and more on the person youāre talking without actively thinking about what you should say or oops do they like me do they not like me
re: this (i was typing this earlier)
i mean iāve already lost an entire friend group before due to transphobia
and not to mention the Every Other Related Trauma (there are several of basically the same thing happening Yet Again )
so itās just. the effects on me get worse every time something like this happens
this is counterproductive at times though
because it leads to me not talking to people, and not getting to know them
commuting instead of living there also makes that a lot harder
yeah iām better at it in most moments
typically the overanalyzation and anxiety kicks in immediately after i leave the current interaction
I act really silly in person, I wonder if people do mind that in private. Well remains to be seen
i would hope its evident by now i donāt mind
i can get into a moment with someone as long as i donāt have like, actively confirmed anxieties with them like my current irl friends.
iāve been dealing with it for a while so i know how to at the very least set the anxieities aside when thereās not strong evidence
but as soon as it becomes slightly compelling it gets a lot worse (hence the communication moments as above) (and the bar for slightly compelling is not that high. generally unless itās really compelling i can still interact with them but)
If people mind in public, at the very least I know Atlas doesnāt mind me doing '09 bombs on her
Iām a cat basically
i, as much as i am a metaphorical vehicle, am also another person, who doesnāt mind
there will be plenty more like I
In conclusion, if you have crappy friends and are afraid of being alone, would you really choose one over the other, if they donāt even really consider you for you?
Itās genuinely weird knowing tht there are people I hang out with daily who like invite me to things college is wild
Big reason I went immediately without hesitation. Wanted to be put in an environment where I could learn to be a human being. College has training wheels
I donāt have to worry about food or rent or seeking out friends whatever I just have to do school which I am good at and the rest takes care of itself
oh that is so annoying
whatever