Cookie Thread Act 1: A Cookie in Time

[Italy]

how do you get ran over on the interstate

[TodaysStory]

is this a riddle

[TodaysStory]

he stood on a block of ice

[Italy]

riddle me this batman
if a quiz is quizzical, then what is a test

[TodaysStory]

uhh
he was his father?

[TodaysStory]

testy

[Italy]

your sins will catch up to you

[TodaysStory]

I know

[May]

The joke

@May

He’s specifically known for telling like essay-length jokes with terrible punchlines. So there’s this lake

@May

And it’s shaped as a triangle

@May

And around this lake reside three kingdoms, who all desire control of the lake for its valuable natural resources

@May

Such as water.

@May

And one day, the rulers of the three kingdoms all decide to march on the lake and attempt to take control of it for themselves

@May

The first kingdom sends their finest knights and their squires

@May

The second kingdom is also up to the task. Their knights are not as well-trained, but they manage to amass an even larger army of newly-trained knights, and, of course, their squires

@May

The third kingdom, despite having the most land of any of the three, is lacking in military might. They only have a single knight to send, with his lone, aging squire

@May

The night before the armies are set to march on the lake, the knights all prepare for battle

@May

The first kingdom’s knights stay up late drinking and partying, celebrating their assumed-to-be-upcoming victory

@May

The second kingdom’s knights, antsy and poorly-trained, get into some “training spars” which go wrong, and they have to spend the night tending to their injuries

@May

The third kingdom’s knight, ahead of the battle, can only think of one thing. Dinner

@May

He gets a fire going. Grabs a rope from his small bag of belongings. Ties it into a noose over a tree, and on it, hangs a pot of stew over a barely-burning fire

@May

With the stress of the upcoming fight hanging over his head, he downs the entire pot of stew he’s cooked, leaving his squire to forage up some food for themselves

@May

The next day, all the knights of the first kingdom are far too hungover to fight. But the battle is still on. Their squires, being much more responsible than those they were assigned to assist, decide to go in their place, to ensure there is still some hope of their kingdom gaining control of the lake’s valuable resources.

@May

The knights of the second kingdom, still wounded from the last night’s incident, are also too weak to go on to the battle, and their squires, having not been part of that “mock battle”, go ahead to the battlefield.

@May

And, as the sun rises over the third kingdom’s lone knight and squire, their knight, too, is unable to go to battle, ill from eating far too much stew during the last night. Alone that squire goes.

@May

The next day, the battle is fought and won. One kingdom’s representatives remain victorious and win control of that lake

@May

Against the combined might of both other kingdoms’ forces, the lone squire from the third kingdom is victorious.

@May

it just goes to show

@May

That the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other sides

List of things which distracted me from the joke:

• Quote “getting bored of it”
• My Splatoon mafia Google Doc
• Alchemist psychopath
• The most May role on Discord is Veteran
• Litten should be in more positions of power
• Deviants can’t be funny
• Butches in Blood on the Clocktower
• My dog Lucky
• Wordle
• 11-lettter Wordle
• starKit’s prophecy
• Story
• Sudoku
• My mom’s chicken taquitos
• Same joke jail
• Story again
• Academic paper on lesbian prison family structures
• Manga bible
• Sudoku again
• Which make and model of car killed which FoLers
• Story again again

[Italy]

@May

Alchemist psychopath

alchemist psychopath is the funniest thing ever though why do you need any other jokes

[May]

So there’s this lake

[ElizaThePsycho (Willow)]

shaped like a triangle

[TodaysStory]

im sorry i wasnt here for the first part what about butches in blood on the clockfower

[May]

They should add them. And Scarlet Woman isn’t one

[Magnus]

@May

Deviants can’t be funny

I disagree.

[TodaysStory]

Yeah wgar about deviants

[May]

Deviating from the May Consensus here are we

[May]

The expectation of being funny makes everything so much less funny

[ElizaThePsycho (Willow)]

Y’ALL SOMEONE BEAT US TO THRONE OF LIES THE LAST WISH

[TodaysStory]

Comedians