katze rankings!!!
Explanation of how i did rankings and stuff
hi hello
it’s me, that one person who did a walrus in record pace. have i milked that joke yet? no? okay well you know what they say… slow and steady wins the race. unfortunately wiml is not here to accompany me 
in a decision that i regretted like halfway through… i rated each song with the following critiera (in order):
0-10 (song rating)
0-1 (catfit)
0-2 (familiarity)
up to a maximum of 13!
there’s a few ties, once i finished grading all the songs i tried to get rid of all of the ties in the top 10 (so every song but a couple have scorings that are only 1 decimal, but a couple have a second one because they won my tiebreaker!)
honestly i expect this to go poorly because i was pretty indecisive and my first scorings and second scorings were relatively different (iirc the top 10 changed 7 out of the 10 songs?)
i regret my first (and maybe only) walrus being this large and this… broad of a category. sorry for it taking this long, between some health issues, some mafia, a lot of forgetting, and a shitload of procrastination, this finally DID get done!!! 
also when i reveal the songs im not revealing who submitted it immediately because i think it’s fun when people guess. if i forget to name it before the next song yell at me please 
oh also some of the songs are definitely pretty nsfw/might be uncomfortable to some people lyrically, i’ll try to mark them but i miiiiight not catch them all so… beware, i guess
45th Place - Egix
BABYMETAL - Karate
4.2 + 1 + 0 = 5.2
BABYMETAL - KARATE (OFFICIAL) - YouTube
babymetal is a thing i’ve just never really been a huge fan of, which is weird because the stark contrast between the vocals and the metal is something i find really funny but… idk, just never really liked it very much despite the fact i think i should. the insturments are decent. everything else? nah. i really just can’t. call it a robbery but i’m not stealing your possessions im stealing your life, how dare you like a song that i should like but don’t? you really should have known better, TBQFH.
44th Place - Syn
ZHEANI - FUCK THE HOLLYWOOD CULT
3.4 + 0 + 2 = 5.4
ZHEANI - F𖤐CK THE HOLLYWOOD CULT - YouTube
this song and music video are a fever dream and i want to wake up from it
the message is there and it’s a good one but beyond that i don’t really get anything from this song
i guess i could comment that the music video is raw in a way that i think is kinda cool but this is reaallllly stretching it
43rd Place - Mistyx
Set It Off - Kill The Lights
6 + 1 + 0 = 7.0
Set It Off - Kill The Lights (Lyric Video) - YouTube
if you linked me this like… 6 years ago? id have been a bigger fan, but idk.
the songs fine? i liked it (and SIO in general) more years ago it’s kinda just vaguely passable noises in my ear now. imo the bridge is pretty garbage.
42nd Place - orangeandblack5 (C)
Minutes Til Midnight - Gospel of the Throttle (Drifters Op Remix)
4.4 + 1 + 2 = 7.4
Gospel of the Throttle (Drifters Op Remix) - YouTube
this song flat out isn’t good. but i don’t hate it? i think if i were barely focusing and just wanted some background noise this would be a pretty solid song because i can drown out “lyrics” and just listen to the guitar
that isn’t exactly a niche i needed filling for, though, i think most of my playlist does that but even better because i can zone back in and actually… listen to the music. you know, like a normal person.
41st Place - Ampharos
Blood Command - Cult Drugs
5 + 1 + 1.5 = 7.5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnDJ15VHbAE
i feel like this song has a lot of things i… normally like in music? but i just… don’t like this song very much? i’ve listened to some of their other music in the past (and even now) and this song just. feels worse to me? song feels low quality.
i feel like a lawnmower is on in the background. i like her voice but i don’t like it? idfk.
get robbed ig. subbed the wrong blood command song imo
40th Place - Emilia
Miura Jam - Rightfully (Goblin Slayer Cover)
4.6 + 1 + 2 = 7.6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJWh-SqCb5Y
sick insturmentals, but i just can’t get behind the vocals here at all and it honestly kinda just ruins this song for me, none of it feels right and if i listened to this blindly i’d probably easily be able to identify it as a cover by that? i listened to the original version of this out of curiosity and thought it was way better even without the sick guitar
also im taking off a point for how she pronounces “biscuits” that is WRONG and DISGUSTING AND THE ORIGINAL WEEB TRASH SAYS IT CORRECTLY???(but i put it back cause the 2nd half of the song redeemed that a bit)
39th Place - Nerbins
Peritune - Havoc
4.7 + 1 + 2 = 7.7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV2ppFv3hbk
well, it’s royalty free and that means if i ever hear this again i should lower my expectations for whatever it’s surrounding
don’t get me wrong, it’s better than the above line would suggest, there are moments that sound kinda decent and it reminds me of a different submission from this walrus (this is likely placing lower) and vaguely like a song i feel like could fit in a playstation dragon ball z game? y’know, if they didn’t steal the music
honestly im p shook that someone subbed royalty free music to a walrus
if there’s one thing i’ll give this it’s that if you took it and spliced it into pieces and then took the bad pieces of it and made them less bad then this song would be less bad
…wow that is quite possibly the most worthless thing i’ve ever typed. translation: the lows are super low and the highs are pretty alright, if you made the lows better than this would be pretty solid
listening to this a few times in quick succession has made me want to play budokai 3 and that is a praise that no other song (bar a potential stratovarius sub) will get here and frankly thats pretty high praise tbh but it doesn’t change the fact that you subbed royalty free music to a walrus what the fuck (everyone who placed lower than this is effectively getting ratioed)
also this sounds suspiciously like homestuck music (wink wink nudge nudge)
38th Place - WindwardAway
Herra Ylppö & Ihmiset - Horros
4.8 + 1 + 2 = 7.8
Herra Ylppö & Ihmiset - Horros - YouTube
even when finnish people are screaming in my ears they still sound depressed (look no offense to anyone who’s finnish but i’m right)
this doesn’t really hook me? its not… terrible, but i don’t think it’s good
would probably be easier to like if i understood it but the song still feels p lifeless to me and its like. why would i really listen to this???
37/36th Place - Dobby (A)
Wardruna - Odal
5.4 + 0.5 + 2 = 7.9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpNwHXJgl8s
this song is really cool? its like, not at all my style, and frankly i don’t actually see myself listening to it if my goal is to listen to music i like? but it’s cool and it’s super pretty! like, if i were to rate this from an objective pov it’d be way higher but this is my fucking domain so you LOSE (okay its still really cool) (i feel like this is an arete song) (if its not arete then arete you’d like this probably) im definitely rating this too high given the category but i think its cool so i dont care. nya.
37th/36th Place - orangeandblack5 (D) - Mild NSFW Warning
Ken Ashcorp - Touch Fluffy Tail
6.9 (nice) + 1 + 0 = 7.9
https://youtu.be/4nyHPIcbn88
DO NOT CITE THE FLUFFY TAIL TO ME, <whoever submitted this, no, im not editing this later>, I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN
tbh the songs better than i remembered. not quite a bop, but mmmm, y’know? catchy. kinda lingers in my head. bit of catjam.
not sure if im imagining it, but the sound quality feels particularly rough on this one. might just be a symptom of its time?
…is this song a meme song? it definitely makes me laugh. i dont parse it as one but maybe i should lol
whoever subbed this is officially a furry, sorry but i don’t make the rules. UwU
35th Place - NANOOK
Black Sabbath - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
7 + 1 + 0 = 8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDmUd9Euaj8
pretty bold sub in a cat that mentioned familiarity tbh. back when i played tf2 i used to have a knife named “back stabbath”
i’ve honestly not listened to a black sabbath song in quite a bit, most of their music i’d consider too slow for my tastes and this song doesn’t really count as an exception - its a good ass song but it’s not a katze song
34th Place - TheAltInOurStars (OB5)
RosalinaSama - Gangnamcut
6.4 + 1 + 1 = 8.4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycHluR67jiY
first few seconds made me think someone subbed some nsfw shit LMAO
it… works better than it should? its not great, but… wait this dude gangnam styled the ENTIRE album? holy shit thats hilarious i love that
solid meme song 
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND IS THIS TECHNICALLY KPOP FUCK
33rd Place - MyNameIsNothing (East)
NECRONOMIDOL - Salem
5.6 + 1 + 2 = 8.6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkCBKlAwj6E
the girl on the front of the album cover doesnt look very concerned with her position at all and that’s odd
we should vote her for her roleclaim. i bet shes mafia.
oh its just somewhat better and more obscure babymetal
ok
cant wait to see how many people get pissed off by that
deal with it :polidab:
32nd Place - ignoramus
GameMetal - The Price of Doing Business (Shovel Knight Cover)
6.2 + 1 + 1.5 = 8.7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_exNaxGFqE
hm. i feel like the cymbals are out of place at times? like, i get why they’re there (if you listen to the original it’s clear what they’re in place of) but they Feel Wrong at times
when i gauge covers a big thing is like… “would i rather listen to this over the original”? and the answer to this one is a resounding “probably not”; and next would be along the lines of “is this special” (not really) or “is this still really good” (also not really)
that probably all sounds a lot more negative than my actual thoughts, cause this is fine? there are a couple really good moments and if i ignore the lost magic of the original (which i don’t hold against it too much because 8bit → metal is a weird jump) and view it as a standalone song i’d probably press replay on it once or twice
31st Place - DatBird
Naoki Hashimoto - The Roar of the Spark (Guilty Gear Strive OST)
7.8 + 1 + 0 = 8.8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCXo_glrETs
i sure hope you don’t main ky kiske, dat (im not editing this if someone else subbed it, but i know im right)
i considered having that be my entire writeup and as funny as it’d be… it’d be a disservice, cause the GGS soundtrack FUCKS. it SLAPS. the bouncer lets them IN.
hmm. trying to think which character theme is my favorite now… time to listen to them all. again.
wow they’re all good. i was gonna list my favorites but i listed more than half the characters lol (however special shoutouts to potemkin and axl cuz i think potemkins is the most meme worthy for obvious reasons and axls feels like the song an alternate universe katze would like the most but this-universe katze has somewhat mixed feelings about) also the dlc characters have banger tracks too damn i didnt even know they existed until today - the happy chaos theme is a mashup of… chaos. i love it. dont think it was out when you submitted this though so lolme
should i talk more about THIS song? nah. lets talk about the history of ky kiske, from someone who has no idea what the actual lore of guilty gear is.
ky kiske was born in 2003. his birth name was kyle, but he got bullied a lot so he shortened it to ky, because he thought that was cooler. it was not cooler. ky was bullied even more after that. he ran away to the land of gears, where he was bullied even MORE by sol badguy. thats why they’re rivals. (they’re rivals, right? they have that kinda 
…
? energy to them)
after watching a bunch of super smash brothers melee for the nintendo gamecube, he discovered that if you’re super lame you can just get a sword and ledgecamp from his favorite player, mew2king. unfortunately, the gears removed all the ledges. that’s what the point of the spark is. so you can see he’s trying, and you won’t see him crying
so uh. i’ve also only laucnhed GGS twice. he’s kind of a zoner, right? short hop double fair kinda guy? idk. i know axl is more of a hard zoner
uh. anyway. the roar of the spark is actually kys anime high school song, he hums it to himself during gym class when he gets bullied for being built like a gay anime stick figure (also known as vanity.)
as the greek philosopher Naoki Hashimoto once said: “mankind knew they cannot change society. so instead of reflecting on themselves, they blamed the beasts.” - as a young soldier (oh by the way ky was in the army, this part of the story isnt rly that important tho and it probably gets retconned out in the next installment anyway) ky took that quote to heart and saught to be the change that mankind knew they needed but were unable to achieve.
as such, after graduating high school and enrolling in scrub university, ky immediately dropped out because he believed that college was a scam. in order to change society, ky kiske knew he must abolish colleges.
that is actually the plot of guilty gear strive; ki kiske is trying to abolish college while sol badguy (the protagonist with the funny ironic name) is trying to stop him. guilty gear is trying to brainwash us into thinking school is good. do not fall for it. HIS NAME IS LITERALLY SOL BADGUY HE IS OBVIOUSLY A BAD GUY??? why the fuck do i need to explain this to you you absolute sheeps
oh. and the song is good too i guess
30th Place - orangeandblack5 (E)
Royal Republic - Getting Along
7.5 + 1 + .5 = 9
https://youtu.be/bu3ruL8WJgc
oh hey a song i discovered through beat saber
im probably biased but i enjoy it. p good song. not groundbreaking. never really slows down, the song just has a good energy to it tbh. villagery. gets pity familiarity points.
29th Place - KyoDaz (THIS IS NOT A CATFAIL STOP BULLYING ME)
Elle King - Ex’s & Oh’s
7.2 + 1 + 1 = 9.2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uLI6BnVh6w
not really my style but it honestly ain’t half bad and as i listened to it more and more it grew to me a bit… she has a really beautiful singing voice tbh. like if it was only half as good this song would probably score a lot lower but it’s just really good and it just fits?
and honestly? this shits mad catchy. first few listens i didnt expect it to catch on but tbh it kiiiiiiiiiiiiinda bangs??? huh. yeehaw, partner. (its the voice)
honestly, you’re scoring way higher than i expected you to, cowboy bob. well done tbfh.
28th Place - Kane
Finntroll - Can You Forgive Her?
6.3 + 1 + 2 = 9.3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HSk5-cKvgg
i fucking adore the intro
the rest of the song is… not really my taste? idk the growly stuff never super appealed to me most of the time; i like the background insturmentals a lot and the… circussy feel? it’s a fun song. not a favorite.
27th Place - Simon (and Wisdom, by spirit)
MandoPony - Die Anywhere Else (Night in the Woods Cover)
7.4 + 1 + 1 = 9.4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kYTe25h-bU
i respect this cover quite a bit, because i think it’s a really good cover, but in terms of like. rating the song based off of how much i like it? its alright. if you put it on ill probably hum along or maybe sing a bit, but i dont really see myself coming back to it.
specifically i think it’s a cover that fits the source material pretty well and doesn’t do anything too wacky, i guess “adding vocals” is a big change but i think they’re fine.
this song/game kinda makes me sad. rest in peace, Alec.
26th Place - GGhana (A)
Danny Baranowsky - Metalmancy (Death Metal)
7 + 1 + 1.5 = 9.5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwenX1q621w
my first listen through of this made me motion to reinstall CotN; just to find out ive had it installed and just havent launched it in over 3 years. probably need to fix that. lol
those fucking DROPS have NO REASON TO BE AS GOOD AS THEY ARE
the rest isn’t anything special??? like its p decent… but if i could get married to a 25 second snippet in music i’d probably be giving chloe some divorce papers cuz 
25th/24th Place - orangeandblack5 (B)
Ghost - Square Hammer
8.6 + 1 + 0 = 9.6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XBGWGMLoWM
i remember the first like 20 times i heard this song i thought “that you’re on the level” was “that you’re all alone” and i still sing it like that sometimes tbh. great song. big fan of the band, ive always kinda dug the satanic vibe? good band tbh.
25th/24th Place - eevee
“Metalish”
6.5 + 1 + 2.1 = 9.6
yes i gave it an extra .1 because the submitter literally made this song
https://www.dropbox.com/s/uj7itrrlm895evk/Metalish.mp3?dl=0
i’ve got mixed feelings about this.
on one hand? yeah it kinda slaps. like, if im zoned out and just want some nice sounds to go in and out of my skull, this is a pretty damn good candidate for that.
beyond that though? i dunno. this isn’t the only instrumental song submitted (spoiler? probably not) but it feels the most… lifeless of them all? there’s moments where i feel otherwise, but other moments just feel glued together really awkwardly
i think if you took this file to like, an indie game developer they could probably use it as the basis to a pretty great boss theme or something, but as it stands it feels kinda like a beta version of it
and it does sound great still, but every time i listen to it again it feels more like nice noises than a song
23rd Place - Squirrel2412
Tristan Alric - MECHA BEE DESTROYER BLASTLORD (Bug Fables OST)
6.8 + 1 + 2 = 9.8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6vtGV4ehR0
i think calling it a catfit is a bit of a stretch but the song is fun and i enjoy it, and it made me aware of a video game that i kind of want to buy so that’s pretty lit. feel like its the perfect length before it gets repetitive but if i listened to this a lot i think i’d get bored of it.
after having listened to it a lot i am kind of bored of it. good prediction, past me.
i think calling it a catfit is a bit of a stretch
22nd Place - nutella
Kalevala - Калевала Корочун
6.9 + 1 + 2 = 9.9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSXaV7squyI
yooooooooooo russian folk metal this hits close to home
i can barely understand a word they’re saying but this songs still pretty fun. first time i saw the album cover i thought it was a pirate ship and i was like “holy shit russian pirate metal” and now i wonder if that exists
i don’t know if i’d listen to this again out of free will but if it came on i’d probably headbop for the duration of the song at least
times like these are times i wish i had retained the knowledge of the russian language so i could appreciate this more
21st Place - Bloobird
Butterfly Temple - Зри cатано!
7 + 1 + 2 = 10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTNkFWBKP4s
damn these lyrics are pretty metal
despite the fact i cant understand it very well i still kinda bop to it. the insturmentals are kinda the focus of the show for me and they don’t really fall flat, i actually kinda love that it feels like the guitar is quieter than it should be? maybe im going crazy.
20th Place - GGhana (B)
Booze Control - Strike the Earth
7.1 + 1 + 2 = 10.1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlGw8QJC2-w
i… have surprisingly little to say here. i find the song to be good? but that’s really it, i can’t really pinpoint anything that makes it stand above other songs, it’s just kinda a good song. if anything i find it kind of forgettable
however every youtube comment in the fucking world is like “wow this is a dwarf fortress song” and that’s pretty cool. definitely makes sense with the lyrics. never played it but it totally gets a bit of bonus cred from me for that cause that’s pretty lit (not really) (unless…?)
also who the fuck names an album “HEAVY METAL” thats just asking for nobody to ever find it ever
19th Place - Shad (B)
Ensirferum - One More Magic Potion
7.2 + 1 + 2 = 10.2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0cRQHRy1Rg
first and foremost: the animated video i found for this song is beautfiul. seriously you should check it out
i… can’t really get too much into this, though. i don’t know if its a problem with the song or my brain but it feels like the lyrics are just constantly drowned out by the rest of the song and i can’t quite find myself able to experience the entire song in its intended form, to me i feel like its two sides of an incomplete package
i’ve searched for like 3 different live versions and i prefer them but i guess that’s just… a part of the song? idk, it definitely felt easier in the live versions, and i like it more in those as a result
i simultaniously feel like im robbing this while being too generous to it
coming back to this song a while later i still kinda agree with the lyrics feeling drowned out but to a lesser extent, maybe my ears were broken that day. songs good, i no longer feel like im being too generous with it
18th Place - Bradland
Johnathan Young - Sasageyo (Attack on Titan Cover)
7.8 + 1 + 1.5 = 10.3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUQrXOX1FSQ
in watching the original opening and im both confused as to why it’s like a third of the length and… what the fuck even is this anime??? like ive heard of it, people argue about this garbage all the time and the general vibe i get from my friends is that this anime sucks and i feel like having watched that video i fully agree. however im supposed to rate the songs not the animes so unless there’s demand for a katze animewalrus (never happening lol) ill shut up now
anyway… this is better than i expected it to be, ngl. thought the normal opening was only okay, the lyrics imo don’t translate into a super coherent song but it sounds good and flows surprisingly well. im not sure why sasuke from the hit tv show naruto is here either tbh. feel like the second guitar solo goes on too long and the bit after is weaker than the rest of the song as well? overall it’s still way better than i expected and in my eyes significantly better than the original
17th/16th Place - clonedcheese
Homestuck - Dance of Thorns
8 + 1 + 1.5 = 10.5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dKRKDn9ZJk
this song is good. my initial writeup was more along the lines of “if i understood it i’d be all over it”; but i don’t understand it and i still think it kinda slaps.
i really enjoy the fact that there’s emotional highs and lows in a song that has no lyrics or anything like… super blatantly signifying them (i feel like i worded that weirdly. i mean like… it’s not a sad piano = sad, cliche hype music for hype, etc etc… but you can still feel it? idk)
i guess it’s like… there’s a story i can kinda extrapolate just from how the song flows, which i think is really cool.
17th/16th Place - Marshal
Daughtry - You Don’t Belong
8 + 1 + 1.5 = 10.5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72Kg0jMUTK8
never heard this song. damn. mesmerizing voice. banger. all around just great tbh. intro goes pretty hard and it doesn’t lose that much steam… uh… idk
i don’t really think super highly of daughtry tbh so the fact that i think this song is this good is kinda shocking to me lol
15th/14th Place - Whysper
Amaranthe - Digital World
9.7 + 1 + 0 = 10.7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6PYAkXO-bU
im personally a p big fan of amaranthe and think this song in particular is one of their better ones, especially in the “utilizing multiple vocalists” department which is imo one of the strengths of the band. banger song that hits a lot of my sweet spots
mmmmmm this song is cheating i like it too much
15th/14th Place - MyNameIsNothing (West)
Astronoid - Incandescent
7.7 + 1 + 2 = 10.7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvrtaQkTWOA
this song is hard for me to properly rate tbh? i flip flop a lot between “this is amazing” and “this is cool but i leave it unsatisfied”
hm. i kinda feel like im robbing it if i rate it low and being too generous if i rate it high. this makes sense.
“it’s all we have to give” well give me more (or dont what you gave me was still pretty good)
13th Place - mansnicks
The HU - Yuve Yuve Yu
7.9 + 1 + 2 = 10.9
https://youtu.be/Cm-Ndlse8Yw
yuve yuve yu yuve yuve yu
definitely a fun song, definitely a good song… i feel like i’m gonna be accused of robbery but i don’t really think it’s Amazing; i could very well see myself listening to this in the future and if i ever do i’ll probably try to sing along (at least the yuve yuve yu, that’s just fun to say) but its not a song i’d go out of my way to listen to again
…with that said it’s definitely a good ass song
also i’ve played it in ragnarock (highly recommend for you VR gamers) and it just Works there super well
12th Place - Shad (A)
Falconer - Gritefrid
8.5 + 1 + 1.5 = 11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTQRfN7OsFY
hey. hey you. did you know that swedes make some REALLY fucking good metal?
no?
is that just me? swedes fucking rule when it comes to this. i LOVE this opener.
now… i must come clean, i’ve never actually listened to falconers swedish stuff (dont kill me shad); and like… normally when i listen to a swedish band sing in swedish im still usually a fan of it, but… hm. im not NOT a fan, it scratches a differnt itch tho. and that itch is a bit less itchy? this makes sense.
…okay honestly that last part i keep changing my mind about. maybe the itchy is itching. the… what? what did i just type.
im overthinking this quite a bit. every relisten makes me think about it more. am i robbing this? am i underappreciating it? fuck if i know.
11th Place - Dobby (B)
MYKRUR - Ulvinde
8.1 + 1 + 2 = 11.1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9cNZQIzShc
i feel like if this song was in english it’d either win this category outright or be way worse, i can’t really tell which.
as it stands, i don’t really think danish is a pretty language (cope, danes) but this song is very pretty and the music video gave me midsommar vibes tbh
i feel like i should have more to say about this but i don’t… wait. one word: nooooooooooorrrrwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
10th Place - thepigeonnyc/thedovennyc
Ensiferum - For Sirens
8.2 + 1 + 2 = 11.2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WRG7MQvrrY
shit, an artist that i’ve had on my “listen to this” list… wait thats because of this walrus. oops. wow, i’m really slow
awkwardly laughs i will not say what date it is right now for my own safety
this is a bop. a jam. a certified classic. a banger. uhh… it’s good! i like it a lot! i connect more to the lyrics than i should tbh. maybe my brains just turning it into a depression allegory when it’s not. the shoe kinda fits.
the insturments… its not quiiiiite hitting the sweet spot in my mind but damn, it gets close. that solo slaps.
i’ve listened to this song way too many times. i will definitely listen to it more in the future. nya.
9th Place - orangeandblack5 (A)
Dropkick Murphys - Time to Go
8.3 + 1 + 2 = 11.3
https://youtu.be/PjKYets2SBw
i-is this a song for a hockey team?
kinda based
my brain had loosely recognized it, tiny bit of googling - apparently it was in THUG1? feels about right, has the tony hawk vibes. (pls remaster more of them on PC) (and dont make them epic games exclusives, for the love of god)
okay the more i listen to this the more it grows on me
GO GO BLACK AND GOLD
…i wanna play THUG1 again. whenever i do this reveal ask me if i ever got to it, cuz im p sure ive got my PS2 and copy of it somewhere?? the answer will probably be no, but who knows.
8th Place - Arete
Johnathan Young - Hellfire (Hunchback of Notre Dame Cover)
9.35 + 1 + 1 = 11.35
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di1XUB0YIzw
i have a pretty funny relationship with this song; my mom loves disney movies (like, a lot) and this one was always one of her least favorites. i never really understood why but i assumed she knew better than me, given she was the one who adored every disney movie ever and i was just the kid who was along for the ride
idk. she might just have bad taste. this songs always been p badass, this cover is also p badass, i don’t thnik it drops anything from the source (minus like. the animation) and if you listen to them side by side i think it shows (there’s a few small differences i noticed, but i think they’re mostly for the better and all to fit the different music genre) and definitely sounds more like a villain singing than the disney version
also this song totally has one of my weak spots (latin snippets in metal are soooooooooooo good and i cannot explain why??? its just such a fucking sick language) and wow this is really fucking good i keep listening to it
also also i LOVE the vocals. not like, the lyricism. just. the raw emotion. it’s not too much its just the right amount tbh
also also also frollo is totally a simp
7th Place - marmot
Devin Townsend - Planet Smasher
8.4 + 1 + 2 = 11.4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJigBFAjGeY
pretty good, not quite great, i like the concept of this song (and by the looks of it, this album) - kinda reminds me of a heavier gloryhammer album from the perspective of the bad guys… the song itself doesn’t really live up to that elevated hype i give it (this is admittedly a high bar)
with that said it’s still pretty solid and i have a soft spot for concept albums. i definitely listened to this entire album, it’s good. probably adding it to the list of albums to set aside an hour to and listen to in a sitting every now and then. (at first i thought this album was like, fully continuous and got super excited, but it’s not quiiiite that?)
anyway!!! listening to this song more its growing on me a bit more… mmmm… letting it simmer.
its close to being one of my GREATS… but i think it’s just shy of it. still good enough to land a spot in my ever-expanding playlist tho!!
6th Place - sulit
Barns Courtney - Kicks
8.6 + 1 + 2 = 11.6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAyOgCCsovM
this song clicks to me more than it has any right to? like, in a vacuum this song definitely scores a decent chunk lower but the sum of its parts works and my brain likey. this dudes got an attractive voice too? idk. probably got bonus points for it tho tbh. there’s a lingering sense of “i swear i’ve heard this before”, apparantly its from a need for speed game but im p sure i never played that one? this song makes me want to do drugs. maybe that’s a bad thing.
should i do drugs? a katze walrus reflection
the answer is no. drugs are bad. stay in school, kids.
hmmmm the more i listen to this song the less i like it? like it’s still really good but my first few listens to this i was like “yoooooooooooo this is the shit” and now im like “yooooo this is the shit” you can tell im slightly less of a fan because the first yo has more o’s than the second yo and that is the correct method of measuring things (imo walruses shouldn’t judge in numbers from 1-10 but the amount of o’s in a yo)
5th Place - Karma_Dope
Revoker - Not Be Moved
8.65 + 1 + 2 = 11.65
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWRBkYVqHqY
this song made me get a VPN because it’s apparently not fucking AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY AAAAAAAAA (this walrus reveal is sponsored by NordVPN) (its ok i needed a VPN anyway im just lazy)
…with that aside, the extra effort was definitely worth it (it wasnt that much effort), this kinda fucking slaps and after searching around for More im sad that this band didnt really Do Anything. kinda crazy to me that this song (and by extension, band/album) seems to be practically unheard of as far as im aware (the yt videos have like less than 1k views each so shrug) cause it all sounds really good (yes i listened to more)
oh i should talk about the song more. it’s uh. the only thing i dislike about it is that the lyrics just feel kinda bland to me and just looks like something id write in high school during some rebellious edgelord phase lmao. but like, still slaps ngl
i’m probably overrating this song a bit. on reevaluation i almost definitely am. oh well.
4th Place - MaximusPrime - NSFW Warning
D Creation - Killdream
8.7 + 1 + 2 = 11.7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT103ZhDoeg
this goes hard. really hard.
i expected a lot more grumbly screamy black metal and was pretty pleasantly surprised. vocals way cleaner than my first impressions gave me.
it’s pretty rare that i listen a song twice and already feel compelled to sing along with it. really like the less screamy of the voices.
3rd Place - Cowboy Bob
Drive-By Truckers - Where The Devil Don’t Stay
8.8 + 1 + 2 = 11.8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU7H4ot7WIs
i feel like im in the woods with my best friend (who is suddenly a male who can play the guitar? idk) and theres a campfire, maybe some marshmellows
and then he’s like “yo do you want me to sing a song about my life story if i were like 50 years older” and im like “…sure??? i dont know what compelled you to ask this??? but why not???” and then he goes hard af and im like “wait wtf”
this is one of the songs ive listened to the most, i just enjoy listening to it, it’s really good and it’s weirdly comforting to me
its hard to pinpoint why i like it, i think it’s just the atmosphere? it feels right. im comfy.
2nd Place - leetic
TYR - Sinklars Visa
9.4 + 1 + 1.5 = 11.9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I1geB7U5VI
huh, i’ve never listened to this album because it wasn’t in english… and
god damn, that intro gives me chills. i don’t understand a fucking word they’re saying but i dig it, i dig it a fucking lot. i always this existed but never really heard much of it, this feels like a wakeup call to change that even if i do prefer listening to music i understand
every time i listen to this i just get mesmerized by that fucking voice though and then get taken along the ride that is the rest of this song and before i realize whats happening im sailing on a ship, but i don’t mind, it’s comforting and im humming along with the whole thing.
while i do think the intro is a high point, it’d be wrong to say the song falls off, because that implies it gets bad, which isnt true. thank you for encouraging me to listen to more of this. and to listen to be less closed to songs that aren’t english
1st Place - Insanity
Ring - βinαrΨ
9.5 + 1 + 2 = 12.5
https://youtu.be/v9q2ZKq6uzI
what the hell? i came into this with not super high expectations for multiple reasons and honestly i was blown away. i love nearly every second of it, and the fact that it seems like it’s more known from a mobile rhythm game ive never heard of than elsewhere surprises me greatly
i just love the sounds in this song, i love the singers voice, i love the mental image i get when i close my eyes and listen to this… fuck, the violin works way too well in this song??? why does this work?
the little chunk of russian totally pockets me but it flows great and i dont think its too much
unfortunately it doesnt look like the other songs from this game slap nearly as hard as this tho
i think if you asked me to describe katzecore this would be a song that comes to mind, im like 98% sure that when the reveal happens in 2024 people will be confused and say this is too high, to which i say :polidab: you’re probably right
Nah but in all seriousness it’s a very good soundtrack with a lot of buildup and dramatic percussion appropriate for an epic siege.