Fortress Plays Imps - 10000, Gnomes - 100, Dragons - 0 (Game Over (for now))

hey
I resemble that.

1 Like

/in

Low activity but I can manage a submission every 12 h :)

4 Likes

i wont try to kill anyone but my decisions may not be the best

1 Like

/in

2 Likes

I take no responsibility for any actions that may or may not have occur in the future when my account gets hacked by squirrels

1 Like

Game Start

8

You eye the gnomeflinger suspiciously. It doesn’t look like anything you want to have any part of, but… You glance again at the cliff with all its strangely shaped entryways. You can feel your curiosity overcoming your caution.

There is a small knock on the leg of your armor. You look down to see a gnome, calling himself Tromsh, standing impatiently at your side.

“Well?..” he says, his voice oozing doubt as to your ability to handle the gnomes’ problems, and whether you even have the courage to be flung through the air to somewhere up on the cliff.

Yes! The gnomes of Mount Nevermind need help, and never mind the fact that you’ve never done anything but work in a bakery. Never mind the fact that even the smallest draconian soldier must outweigh you by a hundred pounds. Never mind that you know nothing about military matters. The gnomes are looking to you for help and, by Reorx, you’re going to try!

8A

Hoping to see something that will help you make up your mind, you climb onto the earthen platform bearing the gnomes’ steam-powered lift system, the gnomeflinger. A gnarled, muscular, leather-apron-clad gnome introduces himself as Gnowmpsh-the-Flinger-Boss.

He thrusts you toward a reclining seat, saying, “Firsttrip,hmm? Nothing,nothingatalltoworryabout. ThisisthefastestandmostreliablytestedgnomedeviceanywhereinMountNevermind. ItwasbuiltbymygreatgreatgreatgranduncleBrahmpsh,andmyfamily’sLifeQuesthasbeento makeitbetterandbetterallthetime.”

You stir restlessly under his barrage of words. Every time one of the gnomes talks to you, you hope you’ll be able to understand him, but it doesn’t seem to happen. By your side, Gnowmpsh (at least you understand that much) still talks while he pushes you into the gnomeflinger seat. You’re about to resign yourself to whatever the gnomes have in store, when you shout, “STOP!”

Gnowmpsh and the other gnomes, who have been twisting dials, checking steam valves, and shoveling coal, stop what they’re doing and stare at you, open-mouthed, incredulity on their faces.

“I’m sorry!” you say, surprised at the anguish in your voice. “But if I’m going to go through Mount Nevermind and find the things I think will help you–and me–beat the dragonarmy, I have got to understand what you’re saying! Please… talk… slowly… whenever… you… say… anything… to… me.”

The gnomes’ looks change to ones of pity and dismay. The coal shoveler clucks under his breath and you think you catch the murmured words: “Poorfellow. He’llbenohelpatall. Doesn’thavethebrainsforit, butIguesswecan’tsend himawaynow. Itwouldn’tbekindtolethimknowwerealize howweak-mindedheis.”

Gnowmpsh gently pats your hand, saying loudly, as if you were deaf, “I WILL DO THAT, YOUNG MAN. AND I WILL REMIND EVERYONE ELSE TO TALK SLOWLY, TOO!” He makes a gesture toward a less-muscular gnome working on the gnomeflinger. He’s also younger, you see, as he turns toward you and raises an eyebrow questioningly.

“Getonwithit,Knekst,” the flinger boss orders.

You watch as young Knekst gathers a number of brightly colored flags and begins making broad gestures in the air with them. Suddenly, a loud whistle sounds and you see gnomish heads popping from the many openings in the rock wall in front of you. They all watch Knekst’s signals, which quickly become faster-than-the- eye-can-see flips and twirls. You’re afraid that Knekst will twist himself into a pretzel if he keeps this up for long.

Finally, once more turning his head and giving you a look of pity combined with impatience, he sloooowwwws dowwwwwnnnnn thhhhhhe mmmmmmooootionnn ooofffff thhhhhe flaaaaaagsssss alllllmmmmmooooossst tooooo aaaaa stoooooopppp. The gnomes on the cliff all look at you, shrug their shoulders, and duck back into the cliff openings.

“THE FARTALKING FAMILY IS USING A NEW SYSTEM To SEND MESSAGES. EVERYONE KNOWS NOW TO SPEAK SLOWLY,” announces Gnowmpsh.

“Thank you,” you answer in a tiny voice.

8B

You sit in the gnomeflinger, not liking anything you see, as the gnomes around you explain what you are indeed seeing.

“Before you are five levels of cliffs. There are also two chambers that you can easily walk to without being flung.”

You seriously consider getting out or the gnomeflinger and going toward one of the areas within walking distance, but you politely wait until the gnomes are done explaining, and you get a fairly good idea of what every entrance on the cliff face means to the gnomes.

Gnomeflinger Success Chart

Days left-> 20 19-17 16-14 13-12 11-8 7-5 4-2 1
Fifth (Top) Level 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 9+ 10+ 11+ 12
Fourth Level 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 9+ 10+ 12
Third Level 3+ 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 9+ 11+
Second Level 2+ 3+ 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 11+
Lowest Level 1+ 2+ 3+ 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+

Rooms (and Misses)

Level A B C D E
Fifth The Nest (4B) The Cold (4C) The Bottle (4D) The Plant (4A)
Fourth The Magnet (3B) The Bakery (3C) The Catapult (3D) The Dark (3E) The Gallery (3A)
Third The Maze (2B) The Spark (2C) The Undead (2D) The Armory (2A) The Explosives (2A)
Second The Crystals (1B) The Military (1C) The Toys (1D) The Signals (1A)
First The Water The Clocks The Steam The Heat The Train
Walkable The Lights The Library

9A

The closer you get to the time of the dragonarmy’s invasion, the harder it is for the gnomes to concentrate on their flinging. The chart above judges your success rate for each fling depending on how many days are left before the invasion.

Each time you wish to be flung to a chamber, the host will roll a d12, then send you to the appropriate result based on the Gnomeflinger Success Chart. If you get the number you need or higher, you succeed. If you get less than the number you need, you miss your target and go to the miss location on the Rooms Chart. You may acquire extra locations while on your quest, also.

For example, if you try for A on the Top level and miss, you would reach B on the Fourth level. If you really didn’t want to go to B, you could use up half a day to return to the gnomeflinger, but remember, you don’t have a lot of time.

If you aim for the lowest level and miss, you are flung on an odd number to the library, and on an even number to the lights chamber (both within walking distance of the gnomeflinger).

Days on the chart are measured only in whole days, rounding up.

9B

The information you receive about these caverns is sketchy at best. You are only able to get hints about the places, because the gnomes tend to be very clannish even in the mountain and don’t get around much. Looking over the possible areas, you select one, tell the gnomes, and then close your eyes and hope for the best. Suddenly, you feel yourself being flunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg!

I will check back by 2022-01-20T18:00:00Z at the latest. You have until 2022-01-21T00:00:00Z to choose a room amongst yourselves (or one will be chosen at random). If you are certain on a decision, one player should declare it and tag me in their post. If over 50% (including the declarer) of the initial players like that post, I will take that decision as final. You may still like posts if you are not one of the initial players, but your like will not weigh into the vote unless you have been part of the discussion since the most recent decision point (e.g. this post).

Mt Nevermind Worksheet

Worksheet Bookmark:

20 days remain.

Chamber # Short Description
# Blah

Other Notes:

Back to Top

@Whysper @GGhana @YouButWorse @Geyde @Apprentice @Ruby @Joker @Amelia @Squirrel2412 @WindwardAway @Ranta

2 Likes

Catapult room looks pretty good (4C)
If we miss we end up in the Armory (3D) which also sounds good

That’s my two cents

2 Likes

The obvious answer seems to be Military

But also not as great if we miss

1 Like

Idk wtf Magnet is and therefore me like

i agree

no

also no

the whole point of this is to scrounge up military shit and bring it to the army

so we’re gonna start looking for stuff for the army where the army is?

no

it’s like you plebs have never run a gnome army before

we go to the maze

6 Likes

the maze where countless gnomes and their lovely machinery have died of starvation

2 Likes

if you want to go to military to find weapons

why are you trying to find weapons in a place where the army has them

checkmate atheists

if we miss the maze we hit the military though and that would be tragic

no it isn’t because you plebs want to go there

I do not