An opener post? Now, usually, you would call these NAI (not-alignment indiciative), but I’ve decided to go ahead and make the most AI post you have ever seen in your entire goddamn life. Go on. Find a better one. Even “I’m mafia” doesn’t top what you’re about to see come from me right now. I’ll show you I’m town in ONE post.
So you might be wondering, “It’s an opening post, we don’t know anything about anyones slot, how can you prove you are town?” Well I’ll show you how, and I won’t even post my rolecard! First things first, just look at me. Look at what I’m typing. Look at my profile picture. Look at marx jumping on that bouncy ball. Now, after doing all that. Try to call me scum. Try to call me a wolf, mafia, evil, anything that would even indicate I am not playing for the town alignment. Notice something? You can’t. It’s impossible. Even immediatley, your gut refuses to call me anything but ‘town’. So go ahead, call me town. It’s fine. I will die night 1 because everyone townreads me and that’s ok, I’ve already accepted it. If you have a readlist, you can put me above your own name, as you should be able to understand that even though you know your own alignment, I am still townier than you.
Still not convinced? Let’s look at the probability. Now, at rand, theres about 3 mafia in a 15 player game, meaning that there will be 12 town players. So, we can say the the odds of any player, picked at random, being mafia is about 20% I think, I’ve never taken a statistics class. Now, going off of my figures, you’d assume I’d be the same. If you were to look at me, with zero posts, you could assume there is a 20 percent chance that killing me would result in the death of a mafia. However, this math is flawed. The weird thing is that picking me actually 0% of the time results in a death of a mafia. Why, you may ask? Because I am a member of the town, and because I am a member of the town killing me never results in the death of a mafia. So there is literally a 0% chance that I am EVER mafia here, and anyone who says I am is actually mafia just trying to get an extremely strong town player (me) killed early so that the town as a whole will crumble and give up. Thankfully, I’m here, I’m town, and I won’t let this happen.
Wow, you really still aren’t convinced? Fine, I guess I’ll have to pull out my final tactic. Now in here I have enclosed DEFINITE PROOF that I am town. There is literally no countering this, and if anyone tries to I will have them executed. Anyone who views this will be overwhelmed with the truth of my earlier sentiments and the truth of the statement, “YoubutWorse is town.” This can be overwhelming for those who already know the truth whoever, so PLEASE, only look if you don’t believe yet. Thank you.
READ LAST PARAGRAPH
im gay
I can hear it already. “Holy shit she is so town,”, “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you YBW, please forgive me,”, “VOTE: YoubutWorse,” (scum said that last one). If you’re mafia, it’s ok. I can still be nightkilled, though don’t forget my social deduction skills are through the roof, meaning I will find your alignment far before I’m killed. If you have any sense, it makes sense and is in fact completely fine if you decide to forfeit. If you still wanna play through the game to your eventual loss, that’s ok, but don’t forget that I am town and that I know who you are.
To any town looking to clear themselves, don’t bother. I think it’s only fair if I’m the only one who clears themselves. I also think I’m the only one anywhere near good enough at this game to do it, so trying would be futile and maybe even result in you clogging my expert analysis of the game.
Thank you for reading, and thank you, yes you, for knowing I am town. This is gonna make the game 100x easier when you already have someone cleared this early in the game. As there is a 150-post postcap, this will be the only post I make today that isn’t completely correctly deducing who the mafia members are. It should be all you need to read me though, considering how obviously I show my alignment.
