Last poster before threadlock gets a cookie (cookie thread (Part 7)) (Part 8)

my god

on reddit theres a tab called ā€œtrending todayā€ that shows news stories from… today.
usually theyre incredibly professional and well worded but theres one for the Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul fight, that says, word and graphically for word, ā€œHe slapped the hell out of him lmaoā€

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im excited to see jake paul get pummeled idk about u

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Wow you are not lying

I feel he should be getting a little more than a pummel idk about the both of you

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mike tyson is way beyond his prime, but he’s still a boxer thats been boxing for, im pretty sure, about as long as jake’s been alive

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i wouldnt want to go against michael jordan on the court

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Mark Suckerberg should’ve suckerpunched Elon Musk in a ring, to be frank with you all

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Shame Musk backed down, cooowaaaaard

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I am 28 years old, and my mother texted me to ask if I was watching Tyson vs Jake Paul

Am I one of the few humans who doesn’t give a fuck about d list celebs? lmao wtf is happening

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around when you were probably growing up mike tyson was a legendary boxer

jake paul was once a relevant internet celebrity in around 2013? but has since mostly faded into obscurity

jake paul wants to fight mike tyson, who’s 35 years older than he is, because he wants prestige for beating the worlds most legendary boxer or something even though mike’s way past his prime and hasn’t a. fought in a while and b. had a major health emergency a month ago

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everyone who cares about the fight is hoping jake gets his face punched in, essentially

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I do know who Mike Tyson is. I’ve been pretty involved in sports my entire life, so I didn’t want to make it seem like I am unaware of that.

Although, boxing is a boring sport generally (even though I did box, and I enjoy the sport) so I am surprised to see large interest

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Unfortunately he resurfaced because of MrBeast scandals

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If you think this is bad you should try hanging around middle schoolers on a daily basis

view at your own risk

ā€œwhat’s it like to hold the gyatt of someone you loveā€
the feeling is heavenly, like that of a dove

the feeling is oh so skibidi, like giaour
but i cannot resist when push comes to shove

oh, how i feel for the glorious gyatt
tyrian purple, faded to mauve

but i forget, the fanum tax is too steep
i must depart, to the realm above

^for the record i did not write this

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no this makes sense i like this

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nononono who could be possibly brainrotted to use their incredible poetry skills to write brainrot

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you know I’m really not sure why you hang around middle schoolers as often as you do given your clear antipathy towards them

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Me hanging around Gen Z

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