What Should Be does not exist except in the minds. There is only what Is, and if it Is more inconvenient for me to try to make hte world more “just” than it is to just ignore the “injustice” and continue on with my life, then I’ll do the latter. And I think getting too fixated on minor injustices of life instead of taking the path of least resistance is detrimental to people.
batman would hate you
This isn’t vagueing this is just like random philosophical thoughts I’ve been having for a while thta I don’t want to drop on somebody who was legit just asking for help with a minor life conflict (which is why I’m putting it in the secret cookie thread not the real one)
that makes various assumptions, one of which has been proven false before
sulit posted about it waking her up over and over
I said most people?
I didn’t say “sulit specifically”
In my experience, the majority of people find sleeping with a white noise machine/fan/AC on to be “normal” and sleeping with music on to be “abnormal”. The majority of people will find it fair and reasonable for your roommate to do a “normal” thing that bothers you and unfair and unreasonable for your roommate to do an “abnormal” thing that bothers you
the matters is that in this specific case it is an altering thing that you desire affecting another person
or that’s how i see it
That’s what I think is the “correct” way to think about it, but it’s not how it’s socially seen, and it is much, much easier to convince somebody to change their behaviour if society is on your side than theirs
You’re in ought-to-be mode and I’m in is-this-way mode. It is much harder to convince somebody to turn off a white noise machine than it is music, because if they go around and ask their friends and family or r/AITA they’ll go “yeah a white noise machine is reasonable”
1 Like
but tutuu was specifically posting in the same way as me
But not everybody thinks that way! And having a factual error that causes people thinking in is-this-way mode reading a post to understand the situation differently still causes that difference, even if not specifically for the speaker
tutuu’s point was “this person is being unknownly rude about the space you live in, because they expect things to work in a specific way”, right
1 Like
I found the assumptions in that post to be ungenerous and unproductive and creating an enemy out of somebody for no reason. And I felt like making the correction was important in that context: I would find somebody to be especially careless if they refused to turn off music while sleeping, but I wouldn’t find somebody to be especially careless if it was about white noise, because most people think white noise is normal and wouldn’t interrupt another person’s sleep!
Like if I took a random person on the street and put them in the white noise situation I’d expect them to rule probably like 50/50 in either person’s favour, so “won’t turn off white noise when sleeping” doesn’t make me feel like I know much about sulit’s roommate, that seems like a relatively average thing to think.
Whereas if it were music, I’d expect the average person to be more like 75/25, so not turning off music when sleeping would give a completely different picture of the kind of person sulit’s roommate is, because that’s not normal or average to me
And even if the actions have the same effects, the groups of people who would do that action are different!
If somebody refused to pull the lever in the trolley problem and let 4 additional people die because of it, I would think of them differently from somebody who killed 4 people, even though I believe the actions in principle have equivalent moral weight and would weight them equivalently in my own decision-making
you’re knowingly sacrificing another person’s wellbeing for something that is abnormal, which brings us to here
they should know better, and intent isn’t an rationalisation for harm.
1 Like
i don’t think “this is white noise” vs “this is music” is productive, as they both have the same effect, regardless of whether or not people think one is supposed to be normal
1 Like