i opened YBW’s iso because I wanted to do due diligence and I didn’t want to be a hypocrite after complaining that nobody was backreading and everyone was just screaming at each other. but I got halfway through and I just can’t concentrate anymore because I’m coming to the slow realization that I won’t actually confidently or even unconfidently scumread them after this iso, I forgot that their earlier posts were kind of villagery, and now I don’t know what to do. i was half considering just lying to everyone and myself and saying I thought they were a wolf after doing the iso and confidently wolfcasing them just so they got bombed or voted out and I didn’t have to deal with them pushing me or the accusations that I’m fake anxiety posting and acting unconfident on purpose
i don’t know what to do. am I supposed to just lie about my confidence here in my reads? I know it’s better I try to argue someone else should die instead of me, because I think it’s possible I can be cleared from interactions, but I can’t in good conscience lie about my thoughts more than I have already. I have already lied about my confidence, on YBW and sultan earlier for example, so I know people are going to say this post is just ate or fake or whatever but I don’t care. I’m just making this so I can both come clean about this and so that people can see why I just feel like rolling over and are less surprised when they see that my anxiety posting is genuinely coming from town me
the sun is out and i just want to go outside and lie on my hammock and forget that i have to solve this game. but I don’t want to abandon my friends who are relying on me and value my input. tutuu thinks I’m a very good player and this game has done exactly what I wanted to avoid, that is showing a lot of the time I don’t have the ability to be proactive and push for things when I don’t have a good grasp on the game. i feel like this town has no cohesion and if we don’t bomb a wolf today we are definitely going to lose but I’m not the sort of person that can bring people together. and i don’t even know why I just wrote this because I’m just giving unfair pressure to zug even though he’s willing to listen to everyone else. this game is very difficult to me right now. if this was a couple years ago me I don’t think I would have had any issues projecting town. but I’ve tried to change my playstyle to a way that is more conducive to me being correct and more careful, at the expense of projecting less town. but the advantage of this change hasn’t even helped me in this game, because two of my scumreads have flipped town and my caution has developed more into inaction
tl;dr
i’m complaining that the world is burning and yet i’m too scared to do anything about it