Cookie Thread Act 1: A Cookie in Time

[Jaiden]

atlas is here yet hes not claiming to not be a yoshi plush despite clearly being a map
this will be important later

[Atlas]

i picked atlas because it was the last name i heard before being invited
i knew nothing about the titan or the map whatsoever
i did play bioshock like six or so years ago though

[May]

I feel like the only potential advantage I’d have in a fight is that I am weak enough to have zero sense of, like, honour. I WILL bite you

[Italy]

target identified

[Jaiden]

YOU ARE STILL NOT CLAIMING NOT TO BE YOSHI. PLEASE CONFIRM YOU ARE NOT YOSHI.

[May]

Can I get out of learning to play poker by biting you

[Italy]

poker is inevitable
you will learn poker

[Jaiden]

may since you live in my shed i can just teach you poker

[Atlas]

i feel like i could powerwalk away and win after a few minutes

[Jaiden]

timing out your opponent doesnt seem very competitive

[May]

Hey, I walk very quickly. I have long legs. Now, running, on the other hand, I am physically incapable of and haven’t done in years.

[Atlas]

what about powerwalking

[May]

I’m always powerwalking

[Italy]

you can’t run forever

[May]

That was the original idea but by mentioning wanting to learn poker I’ve invoked a contract from which I can’t hide

[May]

I can’t run, period, Italy, we just went over this

[Italy]

trust me poker is way simpler than it looks you could play it drunk

[Italy]

you shouldn’t because it’s a game that requires reason

but you could.

[Jaiden]

if an 11 year old me and her friends can play poker i think anyone can

[Atlas]

bluffing doesnt matter and neither does reading other people because you’re always going to be playing against depressed looking 40+ year old men or college groupies
its just about looking at the cards and thinking about how egotistical your opponent is

anyway i ran out of momentum a bit ago so
i guess im leaving
sorry for wasting time