Crustacean puns taking up so much of your time you can’t function call that chronically krill
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Oh my god it’s so fucking nice to be able to leave things places and be 100% sure nobody can fuck with them
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I have this small loseable important token for dining hall shit and I was like I can’t just put it by my nightstand what if my mom comes and goes that’s not important and throws it out, or knocks it on the floor, or etc. Can’t happen. It’s just me in here
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PARROT YOUTUBE
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THEY’RE TURNING THE PARROTS INTO IPAD BABIES
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I have a roomie. But she doesn’t touch my shit and I don’t touch hers. Also she’s out for the next 3 days so I got the room to myself and it’s so goatee
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It’s not like I kept my room particularly messy. It’s not like my mom ever cleaned other than moving random shit on my nightstand when she brought me my medication in the morning. I’m not being a brat and complaining about her helping me clean. SHE DIDN’T it was JUST this. I asked her to stop throwing things on my nightstand out many times and she just never did
Threw out my retainer several times 
You’d think that would be nerve-wracking enough to make her stop given how much those things cost but noooo
Anyway I’m done being mad online I just hate when people do things that are not even slightly malicious but also the most irritating things on the planet. It’s the worst combination
happy Crayfish Day!
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gayfish
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what if im 19 and still get punished by my parents for staying up past my bedtime
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real
1 fish
2 fish
Gay fish
Straight fish
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A wild blahaj has returned
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im 19 and dont stay up past my bedtime. its lights out before 12am pretty consistently.
also my father is genuinely always awake at like 4am so at home if i am not asleep at a good time I know he can’t judge me anyways
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Marshal’s dad: [argument]
Marshal: But should I remind you that you don’t have healthy sleep patterns?
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this. doesnt rhyme. what the hell. why not something like
girl fish
guy fish
gay fish
bi fish
or
1 fish
2 fish
me and
who fish