“Resentment is healthy.”
Oh I wish that was a true statement. If I could have justified hating people, I’d have a long list. I envy those who can hate me, because I wish I was able to feel that satisfaction from hating someone who hurt you.
The worst thing about life is that the best thing to do rarely ever makes you feel good.
One of the biggest truths in life is that harmful situations can be blamed on both parties.
It’s why I view resentment is always something that is unhealthy for humans to hold. It blinds you from the faults of yourself, and the mind holds those feelings of resentment in place of accepting blame. Humans need to grow and learn, so being accepting of resentment leads people to hinder their personal growth.
I used to be a guy named Benji, I know a decent bit about resentment and growth.
Yeah i definitely feel way better now. Justifying my resentment of my sister and dad as necessary to help me endure the cruelties of my life didn’t really cause me to feel better. It helped me to keep pushing forward for a while, sure, but instead of being a true boost to my intensity and willpower like I expected, it was more like a slow-acting poison that, in time, made me hate myself much more than I hated them. I was always to blame for my own mistakes. That’s cool though
I get angry at people fairly often, more often than I’d like, but I don’t really hold onto it. It just exists intensely for a brief window and then disappears as quickly as it beset upon me. It’s certainly left me open to always being that one guy in a group project, but I find satisfaction in being able to just…move on from situations.
Resentment is good if you need to burn a bridge, and perhaps one day, I’ll find myself in a situation where I learn the power of arson. But I’ve grown up around people who were mean because they were yet to grow up, so I’ve always held out hope that perhaps it’s a bridge that just needs to be closed for a while.
I held onto resentment for about 4 years. Remnants of that resentment exist inside of me today, but I have to acknowledge it for me to continue getting over it.
During those 4 years I mostly told people that I didn’t have any resentment, and that I was happy/accepting of what happened. Depression, self hatred, and shitty stuff just happened.
The thing was that I was holding onto that resentment, but I just lied to myself. Humans have to resolve resentment, and holding onto it will cause you to hate yourself. I used to say that I hated myself more than anyone else ever could. Its funny, I came to this conclusion like last month. My happiness is real now, and even though I still have moments of sadness connected to past events, I love myself and I get to be happy.
I was speaking in a rude tone to the person earlier, and I shouldn’t have.
They reminded me of myself, and I wanted to yell at them because it felt like I was screaming at myself not to make the same mistake.
there are people i resented and dont anymore. i dont like them but i dont resent them. it took accepting the emotion to not be overwhelmed by it and thats what let me think clearly.
but sometimes terrible fucked up shit happens and it turns out deciding youre to blame for it happening to you can also make you miserable
its not something you can apply a single process to across the board. all of it is different
I love deep story
Depends, some of us had a lot of blame to accept, while others may have little blame.
I wouldn’t act like the mental process I needed is something everyone would need
It’s never too late to turn back. For what felt like eons, contacting my sister was an unthinkable act to me that i would have gladly taken my own life instead of doing.
We don’t have much to talk about and we’re both obscenely busy so we still don’t talk much, but being able to contact her at all was one of my best accomplishments
thats why i said you cant apply a single process across the board. i feel like we keep agreeing on things here
I’m a bridge builder. I also have 100 counts of arson, but I’m someone who usually will always rebuild relationships.
Although the issue I made was lying to someone who reached out to me. I told them that I was ready to talk to them, and that I didn’t have a problem with them. I knew that they’d never want to discuss my feelings and the pain I felt being around them, so I hid it because I wanted them to keep in contact with me.
You have to be ready, and I was an idiot thinking time heals. In reality it takes time TO HEAL, but time itself can’t do any of the healing for you. 4 years feels like a long time, but since I didn’t start the process of healing, none of the time mattered
I’m dumb, and didn’t realize for a long ass time.
Now I have to start that process for real now, but hey whatever
i like acting like a child. i sadly am not one and have had time to think about Things
This convo happened at a really weird time for me. Yesterday someone from a previous community sent me a message and it really hurt my head. I had such feelings of sadness and anger.
Getting through resentment is tough work. Rachel should accept shit and be happy.
This conversation i think is giving me the courage to speak with my cousin again who i ghosted after he exploded at me last month. I demanded forgiveness from him and swore on my job that I wouldn’t speak with him again until I got it, and I pride myself on my word being my bond (and nothing is more sacred to me than my job) so I’ve been hesitant to speak with him even though I knew he didn’t deserve to be ghosted. He was my best friend for most of last year (and his family graciously let me join them on their annual PR trip in december) and another family member i get advice from pointed out that it’s something I did in the heat of the moment so I didn’t really mean it
So tl:dr thank you Rachel you’re a savant on the matter of resentment
I think people usually act cheeky because well it’s fun! Though I guess it depends on the mood whenever you want to introduce depthness, like in this situation.
I’m a savant?
If only I was ever strong enough to follow my own words. I’m an emotional child with countless issues
I lost my $100 earbuds, and went through a lot of trauma last night.
If I can be happy rn, all of yall should be