Cookie Thread Act 4 (Act 5): The Fifth One

congrats on the job offer

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@ITALY FIRST TRY TODAY. FOUR DEATHS. I’M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME

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it might be?? it bears some similarities to jobs I applied to but there isn’t anything where it, like, is Obviously just “that job, but the company name is different”

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it is also slightly possible that someone with the same legal name put down the wrong email address but like. would they really do that

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my bad ive been using your identity

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One died to Big Bird during Dawn, one died to Backwards Clock, one died to the pause. I only had one death to Binah proper. I’m the fucking king

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(I ~frequently get emails for people who are not me including sometimes for, like, funeral planning, or once for someone trying to close on a house, so it’s not totally impossible)

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Yeah probably a scam

Or that

Sorry I was planning your funeral

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i mean its defintley possible but like very rare
does it seem like a position youd apply for?

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maybe?? it’s for a “remote health & wellness coach” position which I theoretically could have applied for if the job listing put enough emphasis on the parts that are like, Basically 1-on-1 Teaching/Tutoring

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i initially processed this as them trying to email the person the funeral is for and accidentally emailing you instead

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idk id probably ignore it? im not sure tbh

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Hello Arete Lastname,

Unfortunately you have died recently. We were wondering about how tall you were so that we knew what size to make the casket.

So sorry for your loss,
Funeral place

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You died! Thank you for living!

Please let us know how tall you are so that you will fit in your casket when we present it to town at SoD.

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congrats

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Nya

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Never evolving

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arf arf arf arf

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