I am it is much better
My mom proceeded to immediately notice and ask the next time she picked me up which was -_- but that’s plausible deniability enough
YEP
You may wonder; “how do you know if you don’t notice?”
I notice sometimes!
And other times people will apologize for misgendering me and I’ll be like “oh thanks I didn’t even notice”
(I’ve also noticed that even among people who knew me before I came out, people are wildly better at consistently calling me Francis than at consistently using the right pronouns? 
)
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I think names are more conscious for people? Like for a lot of especially older cis people who have just genuinely never had to think about anybody’s pronouns in the past they’re very automatic. Subconscious. Sort people immediately and never think about it again. Whereas names they’re more likely to take a couple tries to remember, and if you use somebody’s name in conversation they’re more likely to have to go out of their way to go oh, what was that person’s name again? And there’s mechanisms for changing names even if you’re cisgender. New nicknames. Marriages. That kind of thing?
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Like for me whenever I use a name in a conversation I have to do a little tiny pause to retrieve that person’s name, and often that’s subconscious and near-instant, but I still have to do it. And I assume everybody has some level of this, especially for people they don’t know super well. And I do the same thing for pronouns, but a lot of people odn’t have that check to retrieve built in, it’s just an inherent part of the grammarsentence
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Yeah you nailed it. You’re told someone’s name normally, but pronouns are based on perceived gender by default.
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I had a 3 hour conversation on a related topic with an idiot last night. Horrible times.
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ME TOO
My god
see the funny thing is the default mental mechanism for me is “go by their voice”
which is Not Accommodating
so i try to fix that and it barely works so i have to correct myself a lot despite being trans myself
society
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the conversation was literally about voice wjhedfgkasdhfioashj.
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hey y’all remember the guy on some other site that i talked about who said slurs and i almost banned him from mafia chat
did you regret not banning him immediately
what did he do this time?
no actually i just found out what his punishment was
(the mods called him the exact same slur and did nothing else)
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this is discord mafia right? sounds like a very mature community full of adults mhm