Cookie Thread Act 4: katze thread

[tutuu]

sleepy chupie soooo much social interaction need some alone time to recharge battery

[Chloe]

Yeah absolutely
I wanna talk about it just don’t have the brainpower

[notblackorwhite]

I feel like the Venn diagram of monarchists and people who don’t understand Starship Troopers is a circle

[Chloe]

@tutuu

social interaction

If thats what you call staring at test tubes all day yes i do a lot of social interaction

[Arete]

well you were talking to Gray

[tutuu]

damn aret beat me to it heheh

[katze]

oh i forgot you used to be [REDACTED] just like me

[Chloe]

no kat ur still stupid

[May]

I do feel like my complete and utter confidence in myself is maybe excessive at time. But I’m too confident in myself to ever genuinely internalise that idea

[orangeandblack5]

I’m still me

[May]

I don’t really get embarrassed anymore… about pretty much anything… I still feel some reflexive social embarrassment about like forgetting somebody’s name or going for a handshake incorrectly or whatever but it dissipates immediately when I think about it because I actually don’t care and conceive of it as an endearing character trait…

[May]

This is maybe a problem at some point

[katze]

may i think you might be autistic

[May]

No I’m not.

[May]

In seriousness I think not feeling embarrassment is pretty normal autistic but what is always of interest to me is that I used to… I used to perform so much embarrassment and self deprecation and ohhh what if I’m a bad person and then I simply chose to stop and I did. It’s novel to me. It’s so much fun

[May]

I’m gonna eat an Andes mint I kept in the freezer

[May]

Nothing revolutionary mostly just cold

[May]

@May

In seriousness I think not feeling embarrassment is pretty normal autistic but what is always of interest to me is that I used to… I used to perform so much embarrassment and self deprecation and ohhh what if I’m a bad person and then I simply chose to stop and I did. It’s novel to me. It’s so much fun

The other interesting thing is that it means that I know most people will think less of me than I think of myself? Like if they have any critique. Even very mild annoyance. That’s a thing that’s comforting about thinking less of yourself: other people will talk your self-esteem “up” more than they will it “down”. If I have so much confidence in myself, near every disagreement on How Good May Is will result in me being on the +May side. Which gets awkward, especially if most people around you perform self-deprecation, as was true when I was a kid, because it feels like that itself causes people disdain. I don’t know what made me stop caring about this? I think this pressure was a large part of what made me act like I disliked myself at all in hte first place

[notblackorwhite]

@May

@May

In seriousness I think not feeling embarrassment is pretty normal autistic but what is always of interest to me is that I used to… I used to perform so much embarrassment and self deprecation and ohhh what if I’m a bad person and then I simply chose to stop and I did. It’s novel to me. It’s so much fun

The other interesting thing is that it means that I know most people will think less of me than I think of myself? Like if they have any critique. Even very mild annoyance. That’s a thing that’s comforting about thinking less of yourself: other people will talk your self-esteem “up” more than they will it “down”. If I have so much confidence in myself, near every disagreement on How Good May Is will result in me being on the +May side. Which gets awkward, especially if most people around you perform self-deprecation, as was true when I was a kid, because it feels like that itself causes people disdain. I don’t know what made me stop caring about this? I think this pressure was a large part of what made me act like I disliked myself at all in hte first place

Never feel bad for not being self-deprecating.

[May]

TRUE