huh
wanting to do things just to do em. its so fun
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fuck I need to hop on this
maybe a lot of my motivation isn’t intrinsic exactly but I think I can hack it to where I really enjoy getting better at things.
Like for drawing for example, I know a couple of people I think are horrible people and who have personally wronged me in some way, who are pretty good artists. Every day I see myself get better is a day I can get closer to saying I am just better than them at their passion. If I just keep doing it and actively improving with some kind of fire that I “win”. Know that if I just continue to put in hard work I am on that trajectory.
not that I will do anything with this information, besides be smug myself, but I am having a blast
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This is kinda the same way I am able to do good in school, or excercize, or do my skincare, etc. I just want to be better than other people that I don’t like.
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unsure
is it really torture if they enjoy it
mayhaps
May is also not Hannibal.
its harder to do it at work because I like everyone there. I wish there was just, like, 1 other intern I really didn’t get along with so I could work extra hard to outdo them. but alas they are all nice to me
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Yeah, writing is largely my weakest skill. It’s something where I believe in my analytical skills, but putting together what is in my head and laying it out is something I hate. Add on top that my current essay is a film review, and I don’t have strong feelings about the topic so I’m even less confident.
Although pushing through it now and trying to just get something out there
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ye hitting somebody from behind is seen as pretty automatically your fault (because 99% of the time it is)
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and so it’s basically free real estate for the courts
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okay don’t take this the wrong way but maybe I should start watching ProjectMelody
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apparently she just has an in with every single electronic musician I like lol
like I cannot fathom
how you just
host a new years eve stream
and then just casually drop
“oh by the way our DJ is Sewerslvt”