huh
wanting to do things just to do em. its so fun
fuck I need to hop on this
maybe a lot of my motivation isn’t intrinsic exactly but I think I can hack it to where I really enjoy getting better at things.
Like for drawing for example, I know a couple of people I think are horrible people and who have personally wronged me in some way, who are pretty good artists. Every day I see myself get better is a day I can get closer to saying I am just better than them at their passion. If I just keep doing it and actively improving with some kind of fire that I “win”. Know that if I just continue to put in hard work I am on that trajectory.
not that I will do anything with this information, besides be smug myself, but I am having a blast
This is kinda the same way I am able to do good in school, or excercize, or do my skincare, etc. I just want to be better than other people that I don’t like.
unsure
is it really torture if they enjoy it
mayhaps
May is also not Hannibal.
its harder to do it at work because I like everyone there. I wish there was just, like, 1 other intern I really didn’t get along with so I could work extra hard to outdo them. but alas they are all nice to me
Yeah, writing is largely my weakest skill. It’s something where I believe in my analytical skills, but putting together what is in my head and laying it out is something I hate. Add on top that my current essay is a film review, and I don’t have strong feelings about the topic so I’m even less confident.
Although pushing through it now and trying to just get something out there
ye hitting somebody from behind is seen as pretty automatically your fault (because 99% of the time it is)
and so it’s basically free real estate for the courts
okay don’t take this the wrong way but maybe I should start watching ProjectMelody
apparently she just has an in with every single electronic musician I like lol
like I cannot fathom
how you just
host a new years eve stream
and then just casually drop
“oh by the way our DJ is Sewerslvt”