Cookie Thread Act 7: Romulus

i think 50/50, even though there’s very little line between them. it’s just really funny how he’s only one of the best batters in the league this year

this is Shohei Ohtani crashing down to earth. yeah sorry he’s only a nonsensically good offensive player now.

im choosing to remain willfully ignorant though. idk what is up with baseball people but even something like “Why are the bats shaped like that” turns out to be a 45 minute deep dive mentioning no less than 5 dudes named Earl

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the entirety of baseball is now based around this one japanese man who is unfathomably good at it seemingly through sheer force of will

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look baseball fans are like incredibly dorkish about the history of the sport

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baseball as a sport is like 50% about history

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yeah was like “i’d ohanti worth 700m without pitching?”

the answer is yes oh my god yes

shohei ohtani, for those who genuinely don’t know, is the best player in the league right now, a candidate for the greatest player of all time. this is because he is a top 5 pitcher. and also a top 5 batter.

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tho god wouldn’t want to be the dodgers owner when the deferred money starts hitting

gonna be peak bobby bonilla day shit

saying that kind of undersells how fucking good he is as a two-way, though. and also as just a DH, becasue, stars above, he’s putting up Edgar Martinez numbers this season. with stolen bases also.

eventually there will be enough subtopics for the cookie thread to branch out into several different channels with different ideologies and they will all fight during fam5

we’ve got mathematics nobody who didn’t major in it understands, base/blaseball, and shows only two people here watched

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he is also subject to the funniest fucking meme in baseball, Tungsten Arm O’Doyle, of the 1912 Akron Groomsmen

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all
im saying if we get a
3/4/5 slash with a 50/50 season
and he pitches 200+ innings at a sub 2.5 era clip

i think he might be better than peak bonds

well, one of the two subjects, but it’s associated with him more than it is with Trout

have beef with a dodgers fan and praying by some metric they can continue to fail until the deferred payment so that he can spend his 30s bald and with a shitty dodgers team and 0 rings to show for it

God willing.

essentially, the meme is such: back when he played for the Angels, Shohei Ohtani had a habit of doing some insane shit that nobody has done for hundreds of years because nobody played both pitching and offense since then, while his team lost

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the essence of Shohei Ohtani is that he has to do something unfathomably impressive, and through some cruel twist of fate, it has to not actually matter

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this still happens on the Dodgers, albeit less often