I’ve been super into Machine Girl since I had the Great Branching Out in 2016. Everyone I’m friends with now is very aware of this, and they tease me about it, whatever. Most of us like similar music outside of this, so it’s not really a big deal. But I have to always listen to my Machine Girl privately. But I like to share with people, I like forming a community of bonds, whatever, you know?
So here I think, ok, I love this music, and a lot of other people do too, right? So clearly there’s something there. And I know my friends love dancing. I have seen them. And I don’t usually get to dance to my Machine Girl, even though it is awesome whenever I do. And my birthday is coming up, so I’m like-- I am never allowed to do stuff like this, but if it’s my birthday, I can throw whatever party I want! And people will want to celebrate with me, so they’ll come, and then I will show them how fun it is to dance to Machine Girl and we can have a cool moment of togetherness.
So my roommates agree, whatever, I invite people, I borrow some good speakers, I make a bumpin playlist of Machine Girl’s best dance songs. I am filled with joy as I’m making it because of how much shit is packed into this music and how I can’t wait to give people the opportunity to feel the way I feel, or at least give it a shot and like have a fun little dance party where all you gotta do is move your body how you want.
The friends arrive, we Inebriate, whatever-- there’s some chill music playing, I have a short little Event, and when the Event is done, I turn off some of the lights and turn on the Machine Girl dance playlist and I start dancing.
No one else does.
So I’m all, whatever, I’ll roll with the punches, I thought I started off using a good, more recognizable song with “Ginger Claps,” but maybe they just need to take awhile to get used to it sonically, they’ll join in.
They don’t.
A few songs go by before I vacate the dance floor myself, to try to do the Dance-Drag Some People Over There. Everyone flat-out refuses, standing and talking instead. I had two allies, two dudes who helped bring over the speakers beforehand. They’d go around and convince people to dance too, both real likeable dudes, and nothing. People refused. People I’ve been friends with for years. I was getting frustrated, cuz you know, I want people to be having fun but the Literal Name that this party was marketed as was “Machine Girl Dance Party” or “MG dance party.” They knew what this was going to be.
My next move was to try to announce to the group that we should all dance, because dancing really just needs some momentum. Once everyone is dancing your own moves don’t mean anything and you’re less self conscious. So I flip on the lights and remind people it is, in fact, a Machine Girl dance party, so dance, or please leave. Lights back off, and then me and those two dudes and one of the dude’s little sister and I start dancing and everyone else goes back to talking. And mind me, I put on a real banger at this point: “Fuck Puppet.” That song is so likeable, it’s fucked up.
While I’m dancing, this other dude walks up to me and decides to hit me with the “You just can’t dance to this is the thing. There’s no beat.” And I’m super like dude what, because the only rule that I made for this party with regards to the dance was “no bitching about the music.” Those were my words. And here is this dude, BITCHING ABOUT THE MUSIC. So I tell him to leave, and he reassures me, “I was already on my way out.”
So after that dude and his bad mood were gone, I was hopeful. Maybe he was like pulling down the General Comfort Level with the music. But nope. After dancing by myself for few more songs I’m ready to bail, so I shut off the music. People continue talking, but the smoke alarm starts going off and so that makes everyone leave except the two speaker dudes, and we chill for a bit, whatever.
And you know, it’s really bothering me. I don’t know what the reason nobody danced was. I don’t know whether I was just being too weird about everything so anyone would have felt uncomfortable, or if this was just a shitty group of friends who would rather drink free booze than put a bit of effort into participating in something I was excited about. Since, I’ve been feeling weird when I listen to any Machine Girl.
My Advice for others on this undertaking: maybe don’t. Just hope you can see them live next time they tour.
