Last poster before threadlock gets a cookie (cookie thread (Part 7)) (Part 8)

Trolls enslaved my apprentice, and now I seek to bring back what I have lost.

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@discobot roll 4d100

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:game_die: 1, 8, 36, 94

An evil wizard

in nerdcord (after a few tries) i got
The bard assassinated my aspirations and now I strive to live by their ideals

Who killed

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An evil wizard killed your side squeeze and now you’re an alcoholic

We should just code this.
Not me - I’m in bed, and if I don’t sleep soon, future me will die - but this feels extremely code-able.

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What the fuck is a side squeze

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it is

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affair person? i think?

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Why is it called side

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Why is it called queens

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not your wife now is it

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Squeeze

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I’m married now?

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A squeeze is apparently a romantic partner.
Therefore, I imagine a side squeeze isn’t necessarily an affair, but it’s definitely not a relationship you’re taking terribly seriously.

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Why

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im rolling this too many times

The bard blackmailed my mentor and now I am haunted by their memory

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litten are you aro