[Misc] Drabble Duel: Doppelgangsters Edition - Atlas wins!

[tutuu]

OH I WAS SO CURIOUS WHICH OPKEMON IT IS TOO

[tutuu]

gwah ( )

[Arctic]

…why did you think we were posting it

[tutuu]

i thought its an actual pokemon that was supposed to be obvious but i couldnt figure out which one but i didnt question it coz im used to not understanding what everyone else is understanding

[Arctic]

pat pat

[Arctic]

i should have submitted this for katze

[katze]

envious dogboy

[Arctic]

yea that put down part looks hella good rn

[Squirrel2412]

can you put a link to when the reveal started?

[Squirrel2412]

nvm I found it

[Squirrel2412]

can I reveal that one of the submissions wasn’t mine?

[tutuu]

sure go crazy

[Squirrel2412]

this was not my submission, but definitely my favorite out of them all
very well written, though I would’ve made a couple tweaks

@Squirrel2412

Meanwhile, Wilhelm Marzipan the Fourth is hunched over his desk, pencil in hand. “…These fools have forgotten the biggest strength we have. Propaganda.”

this bit seems a little out of character for iv - he’s more indecisive (that was his primary character trait when I wrote him for kotc), and less… overtly evil. this felt more like something iii would say, though I think the argument between ii and iii also makes sense (they tend to clash, as ii cares way less about the kingdoms and far more about food than iii)

@Squirrel2412

Wilhelm the Third rockets from his seat, smashing it’s frame against the floor.

also, “it’s” should actually be “its”

---

there were a lot of details in there that were really well done, though

@Squirrel2412

12 feet and 1 inch below the throne room…

this perfectly matches my sense of humor (yes, I know it’s a parody of my ending post in KOTC 2, but still)

(I would totally do it)

@Squirrel2412

An unnamed servant opens a door, and peeks into the room

@Squirrel2412

Four more servants peek into the room via the doorway from each side, giving knowing gestures to the first one to arrive, as the Second bangs against the table with his fist

@Squirrel2412

The carpenter groans to himself from the doorway.

@Squirrel2412

Each of the servants look at each-other, and move to inconspicuously loiter around the hallway.

I also really like the attention to detail regarding the servants

@Squirrel2412

opens

also, super minor thing but I love that this is written in present tense

since almost all of my RP is written in past tense (opened vs opens), but KOTC was one of the few instances where I wrote primarily in present tense (the other was Keldi’s minority rule iirc)

@Squirrel2412

99/1/0 split!”

also very much my sense of humor
I might’ve gone with a 98/1/1, but close enough

@Squirrel2412

Wilhelm the Third rockets from his seat, smashing it’s frame against the floor. The carpenter groans to himself from the doorway. “This is hearsay! An attack on my character! I will see you in court, brother!” He replies, storming towards the exit. Each of the servants look at each-other, and move to inconspicuously loiter around the hallway.

also, just in general, but this is exactly how I lay out paragraphs - usually it’s either [action sentence] [dialogue] [action] or it’s [dialogue] [action] [dialogue]

@Squirrel2412

I was just returning from being the our family’s long inherited vampire!

I do this all the time
I’ll write a sentence, dislike it and write a new one, then attempt to jam the two together and miss a word or two

this is not bad grammar, this is Peak Squirrel Roleplay

(the other parts were bad grammar, though, I would never do that)

[Squirrel2412]

glances at how long my post is

i have, in fact, gone crazy

[Atlas]

@Atlas

are you sure
that
you wanna do that

would that not blow up in your face

this is not my submission but definitely my favourite out of all of them

@Atlas

are you sure

when i talk in character i always use capitalization and punctuation. in my rp games i never talk out of narration about actions, unless i’m making a statement about what it does
also i wouldn’t directly ask, i would likely quote that persons logic stat fron their op, and say it as if logic’s saying it.

@Atlas

are you sure
that
you wanna do that

i’d also use more three dot lines if i’m phrasing something like this

@Atlas

would that not blow up in your face

this is exactly how i’d phrase it, minus the missing question mark

[Atlas]

i was going to save this explaination for later but somebody forced my comedically timed hand

[May]

@May

I was at hte school canteen

Doesn’t exist but fine

@May

and some guy who always sits in the exact same spot asked to sit next to me and it caught me off guard because he always sits in the same spot?

Works generally but the question mark is throwing me off, I think it’s a little more uptalky than I’d usually go. I’d end this sentence with a … or something

@May

so I said “but we’re not sitting on the table you always sit at”

I would obviously capitalise any sentence following punctuation… a question mark is Punctual, you have to capitalise after that. And I wouldn’t challenge somebody like that in real life. I just say whatever makes the conversation go the fastest. I would say yeah and move on

@May

and then he said Yeah but the chair I like to sit at got moved over here,

I try to avoid using the same structural word on consecutive sentences. I would use “was like” if I had just used said.

@May

and my Autism nearly made me say “then just move the chair back”

I don’t usually say “my autism made me say”, and also again in real-life social situations with strangers I say whatever makes it go fastest… I don’t challenge people except subtly.

@May

but I realized this guy probably has various needs so we let him sit at the table.

I don’t know what “various needs” means… the referring-to-self-as-we is a good touch

@May

It turns out he plays Mahjonh

I don’t capitalise mahjong

@May

and knew exactly what I meant when I said I was gonna Han all over the place.

Not a thing I say. Bitch

@May

Makes you think.

Does it really make you think…

[May]

You’ve got a good macro down re: tone and the kind of story I would tell, but you don’t have a good grasp on the kind of person I tend to be in real-life social interactions (which is fair as you have very little data), and it’s a little more… uptalky and generally. I know what the colour for the kind of tone you’ve put in the message is but I don’t know what the word for it is. There aren’t a lot of stops. I use a lot of random fullstops and ellipses and such.

[Litten]

all of mine are pretty bad besides the juror oke and I’ve been treating that seriously, I would hate chewing on paper the taste

[Litten]

Actually results is pretty bad, u and s are too far apart and clearly show this person does not type on phone; automatic f