Cookie Thread Act 3: The Cookie Strikes Back

General
#21123

you know what i meant

1 Like
#21124

this is the same friend who
he, specifically, got told off for swearing
when like five other people were there saying fuck

#21125

Holy shit wtf
Did you die

1 Like
#21126

sadly yes…

#21127

I hacked a girl’s Instagram account cause her password was just her first name and watched it in silence for weeks. And then one day I randomly messaged a guy as her, confessing a crush on him. And like what the fuck are you gonna do, say “I didn’t send that, my account was hacked”, do you think anybody is ever gonna believe you? They’re never gonna believe you. That’s the lamest excuse of all time.

Anyway the two of them later started dating

8 Likes
#21128

LMAO

#21129

Funniest shit I’ve ever done by a mile

1 Like
#21130

one time my older brother was denied an excused absence from some required afterschool thing for an orthodontist appointment because the teacher said she doesn’t give excused absences for “cosmetics”

and then my dad wrote an extremely polite and extremely detailed description of the long term health benefits of getting his teeth straightened, and she sent back some generic response like “thanks for reaching out” or something and just didn’t respond further

i like to imagine that silence was an implied “oh my god what a fucking nerd fine your kid can go so i don’t have to read all that shit”

3 Likes
#21131

Yeah, I’ve been a vengeful ghost ever since.

In reality my brother was smart, he told he’d go get the toy, and instead he ran inside and screamed for help. Then I was standing there with a knife to my throat, and I saw this massive group start running outside led by my grandma. The kid put his knife away after that

4 Likes
#21132

this is SHOCKINGLY the second worst thing that’s happened to me in school
other than like. other students betraying me

#21133

I also flirted with her twin sister for a bit. Real extensive meddling in the romantic lives of htis family

3 Likes
#21134

Hope you never had to interact with that guy again

1 Like
#21135

may the great matchmaker

2 Likes
#21136

church stories are weird

#21137

There was once a kid up in my face with a ton of food in his face during lunch. This kid was so annoying and I really didn’t like him because he would tell on me if I litterally did anything. So I told him to back off, and he didn’t, so I punched him in the face.

I got pulled in the principle office, and they were like “Do you feel guilty about what you’ve done”

and I was like “No”

anyways I got suspended for 2 weeks

4 Likes
#21138

but in like the “this happens every other week” kind of way so it gets normalized

#21139

wait a fucking minute

#21140

Church is a fucked thing though, they begged my parents not to push charges on the kid and they said they’d seek mental help for them. So my parents didn’t. Although I had to move churches and leave all my friends behind, while that kid got to stay. Kind of turned me away from god.

That kid and I went to the same middle school like 4 years later. although I didnt hang with him

3 Likes
#21141

The only trouble I ever got in where I was maybe in the wrong was when I got sent to the principal’s office in 5th grade for calling a kid a “3rd grader” because he was short. I bussed my friend who I was talking to and got out of any trouble whatsoever

1 Like
#21142

Wtf