all i have left to root for is the white sox to eclipse the 2003 tigers so 2023-24 can truly be the season of the generationally bad teams
however this is the Mariners we’re talking about here. you know that fucknig team. sometimes they decide “okay it’'s time to get fuckefd up and weird now”
despite getting two wins i think the 2023-24 panthers were about the same caliber as the two 0-16 teams. they were two last second field goals away from actually doing it
the mariners are probably going to somehow scoot into the wild card and inexplicably make the ALCS almost entirely on the back of dumb as shit Luke Raley plays
they turned julio rodriguez into a 7th spot hitter
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its fucked up that they did that to him
something about his bat has been fucked up by the org and i can’t wait for that old spark to return
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maybe scott servais learning he got fired from social media will turn the season around
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but you know dan wilson is probably going to go like “Okay so i have a great idea. What if we literally always bunted for an entire game” and this somehow ends up working
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it’s so funny that we’re in an age where this can happen now. imagine being a coach and seeing reputable sources saying you got fired and being like “hey what the fuck”
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i think when i heard scott servais got fired, despite not having watched baseball much this season, the following night i had a dream that they hired Ichirio Suzuki as the replacement coach
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not as the interim, as the outright replacement. which would be the Mariners thoroughly embracing chaos, I think
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you go to Ichiro for advice and he whispers to his translator and then his translator says “Have you considered just winning”
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and then you’re like “Ichiro when you were a player you said you always asked yourself for advice, I thought that meant that you gave yourself good advice.” and then he’s like “…I just gave you really good advice.”
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is this because of the dork town series?
that is absolutely how i got into the Mariners, or more accurately how they got on my radar, but what made me a fan was a 2022 game against the Angels where three relievers threw 16 straight balls for 4 straight walks and it was so fucking funny i deciedd I’d just go all in on being fans of them
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the funniest firing of all time remains joe maddon getting a mohawk to improve team morale and getting fired immediately afterwards. so now he just has to be a normal guy with a mohawk
kat is a ramen egg
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this is not a take that I spent any time thinking about
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anyway i love ichiro’s laconic devil-may-care attitude but i think it would make him an atrocious manager
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