Oh
once ichiro broke his bat in frustration and sent a letter of apology to the manufacturer afterwards
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there’s an episode of a japanese tv series that’s best described as Japanese Columbo in which Ichiro Suzuki, the actual guy, is the murderer. like not someone else playing him or him playing someone else. Ichiro Suzuki, as himself, played a murderer on Japanese Columbo
this leads to the existence of Ichiro Suzuki’s IMDB page, the most beautiful page on IMDB
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Sorry I don’t want to be a fascist!
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known for: 2001 ALCS
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bro lost the 2001 ALCS! why is he known for that one! he has… three (3) other playoff series! the 2001 ALDS! 2012 ALDS! he won both of those!
i believe this is an act of spite against mariners fans, because it’s reminding us that the 2001 Mariners existed
the 2001 Mariners are so fucked up
the actual reason, though, is that it’s the only series he played in that’s on IMDb - every other baseball game he’s credited as an “actor” in is an All Star Game
which, by the way, the joke about Ichiro’s hypeup speeches being him standing up and pretending to say a Profound Japanese Saying and then proceeding to spit out an extremely long rant about how much he fucking hates the other team? that’s what he did for every single All Star game
must’ve worked, the AL’s ASG record during his career was. something.
I KNOW
like that’s the funniesst part this insane bit clearly worked, albeit with the caveat that the AL all star team had Ichiro Suzuki in his prime playing for it in all those years
although arguably if the AL had tried less hard in 2002 the ASG might not have determined home field advantage in the world series for the next 15+ years. much to think about.
okay but consider: Ichiro wanted to let it be known how much he thought everyone on the other team was a stupid son of a bitch from a fucked up stupid failure-league
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like did he actually think that? no he just thought it was fucking hillarious to say that he did
ici you should post in cookie thread more. i love mariners posting
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i enjoy your presence generally, but mariners posting is very good
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