noted
what the fuck is craig of the creek
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are you trying to make the claim that i am the straight guy
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Yeah my point is that I don’t think it’s reaaally that useful to refer to it as gaslighting in most contexts? I don’t think that aids in communication, I think just explaining the thing is fine
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Those who experience gaslighting often can’t put their finger on exactly what is happening, which makes it difficult to articulate, even to themselves. Constant gaslighting makes a rational conversation about what’s going on impossible to have. Instead, you come off looking confused, and petty or have your fear that something is wrong with you reinforced.
yeah that. yeah
fair enough
i hope that one day may will come to scotland and meet my dumbass cockatiel. Arnold will hate him so much but I think it’s important lore to know that I have issues with tinnitus solely from cockatiels hearing seagulls for 10 years
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When someone constantly denies your experiences or perceptions, you start to question what and how you remember something. You start to doubt your judgement, as well as your memory of events or what was said. Over time, this erodes your self-esteem and ultimately your mental well-being. Eventually, even if you have proof that you are right, you still doubt yourself as a reliable witness to your own reality. The result is an increasing acceptance of the gaslighter’s description of events and continuous questioning of your own memory, interpretations and perceptions.
yep yep there it is
Cause if you call it gaslighting to your parents they’ll just register it as hostility and shut down, I think the more useful thing in conversation to them is to go “that was not communicated to me, if that was your reason for doing something you did not communicate that to me, if you would like me to understand your motivations for doing something then you have to communicate it to me while the conversation is ongoing and not retroactively”, and if you’re talking about it to somebody else you have to explain the exact situation anyway, so I feel like it’s more useful to explain what the problem is because “gaslighting” is a very very broad term (at least as commonly used) and therefore doesn’t super strongly suggest, like, particular traits of behaviour very well
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i appreciate this article cause it starts off with the bold green text being helpful and containing quotes and the rest of the article has it trying to gaslight you
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oh no im never going to tell this to my parents ive already realized talking with them about their behavior n shit isnt useful
Sometimes, if the perpetrator fears they may lose their relationship, they may switch to being very affirming and sensitive to the others’ experiences for a while. This serves to conceal the gaslighting for enough time to repair the relationship and regain some trust. Their fluctuating between warm-and-cold behaviour tends to make you question if things are as bad as you’re beginning to suspect. And you may again question whether you weren’t being overly judgemental and harsh, deepening the deception and restarting the cycle of abuse.
yep yep yep
. Additionally, by focusing your attention on defending yourself, they’re distracting you from seeing their behaviour for what it is – unacceptable.
yyea
noted
I think a lot of behaviours have the outward effects of gaslighting that are less the result of specifically maliciously seeking to convince somebody they are insane (the original use of the term, as far as I’m aware), and more the result of people living in their own heads and justifying their own behaviours to themselves and that justification having an impact on the people their behaviour affects, like they aren’t a thing somebody seeks out to do so much as a general consequence of conflict in general, and so I think that degrades the usefulness of the term in communicating, like, the nature and scope of the behaviour being described
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i cant really comprehend what this is saying but yea
hi willow
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hello
…i think its been thoroughly established that this is actually just straight up abuse and not borderline and not justifiable. i will remind myself of this and the reasons why so that my emotional brain may begin to believe it.
ok im gonna go to class
I havent seen it yet but its a cartoon
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