what
WOOO?
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you have some problems you should iron out
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im american!
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I don’t have any health conditions :)
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:pork:
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Not the time for puns Chloe. I’d stand up for myself here but I’d probably pass out
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I’m sorry to hear about your condition, Marshal. I’m just glad to see that you’ll take it in stride and continue to crack jokes instead of feeling ferrous at the world for not being fair.
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Thanks. I’m Fe-eling better already.
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I wasn’t being ironic
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this is a good time to announce that i am finally going to get screened for DID! wahoo
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What is DID? I know that in media it says that you completely turn into a different person and you have other personas that can control you, but I feel that media doesn’t often portray the truth when it comes to mental psychology
DID, and related, are kind of hard to explain. The commonly accepted definitions are more than 1 ego state alongside dissociative bouts. Essentially I’m Jerma IRL and there’s a Twitch chat in my brain that can sometimes co-pilot the body.
Media portrayals suck ass. The “evil alter” trope is a gross misrepresentation of reality (though there are some alters that exist that DO intend to harm others or the system, typically called “persecutors”). In addition, unfortunately, I haven’t really seen any good portrayals in media of the condition, and a lot of the time media will portray the “good end” as a full fusion. Definitely not my system’s intent- we wish to coexist healthily (functional multiplicity) and do better as a team than alone.
My system is fairly cooperative and we coordinate well. There’s some infighting (and right now we’re dealing with a not-so-new newcomer who is NOT happy with the circumstances, but he’s getting better about it) and I won’t lie and say the disorder is NOT a bitch to have some days (“what did I do two hours ago?” “Oh boy time to curl up and have a flashback again! It’s the third time in one hour!!!” “Oh jesus christ the Eva brothers are fighting again.”). However, if I could make the choice whether to have my headmates or not, I’d pick keeping my headmates every time. They’re my family.
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As a side note, the experience of “being controlled” varies between systems. Some people have the classic “black out and find out that your alter did X and Y” (polyconscious) and some people are more “man I don’t really feel like myself” (monoconscious). Our system is the latter. We don’t really “black out”, though our detailed episodic memory is shit and I often struggle to feel like the memories we do retain are “mine” unless I was in front for them.
For example, I remember playing Slime Rancher on the XBox back during quarantine. That much, I remember as myself. That’s my memory, I don’t doubt that. But when someone else has been fronting and I recall what I can remember of their time in front, it’s more a “this does not feel like my memory”.
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I am always open to answer questions. Please do not view me as a medical professional, though, since I’m only speaking from my own experiences with community vocabulary. (And god help you if any of your questions touch on syscourse.)
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So your personality can swap, feeling like you’re a different person?
And another. Do you have abrupt and frequent episodes of forgetfulness?
That’s a close enough descriptor I suppose. It’s… really hard to describe. I will say that my alters feel like fully formed people rather than “alternate Mes”, so it’s more like they shove me out of my body. It’s fucking wild- I don’t really leave front like ever, but when I do, it’s like when I think back on “my” perspective, it’s via headspace pseudomemories of watching whoever’s in front do front things.
It’s very difficult to tell when dissociative amnesia has occurred for me. It’s more like I try to recall the memory and it’s like I forgot to save some art piece I was working on so it’s half-finished.
I’ve read somewhere that DID kind of gives you mind boggles where you forget things about your personal life, though they didn’t really list examples